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Because we didn’t want grasses, we uprooted all the turf and composted heavily. Because we didn’t want just brown compost, we planted datura and pumpkin on the shady side. Because we didn’t know any better, we planted Atlantic Mammoth Pumpkins. Because we care, we’re now warning you.

Atlantic Mammoth Pumpkins do not belong in your front yard!

With an unexagerrated growth rate of a couple of inches each day, the daturas are being enveloped and the apple tree is being climbed. Rosemary and sedum are history and one day soon, we won’t see the walkway. I do not jest.

We expect tour buses from local churches and daycares to pull into our driveway this fall–all to see the unfortunate house the pumpkin ate. We just wanted a little pumpkin to preserve. This could be our diet staple for the winter!